Because karma has a wicked sense of humor.

Parenting reality hits different when the tiny humans you swore were “perfect angels” start acting like feral raccoons with Wi-Fi access. This design is for every mom, dad, grandparent, bonus parent, and exhausted guardian who has confidently declared, “My child would never”—right before watching that same child never like they’ve never nevered in the history of nevering.

Soft, bold, and painfully accurate, this hoodie lets you laugh through the chaos while silently warning other grown-ups not to tempt fate.

For the Bold, the Blunt & the Barely Behaved.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!