A relationship policy statement, worn on the head where everyone can read it.

He's at the tailgate, the garage, the backyard with a beer — and this hat is doing the negotiating for him. No argument, no tone, no sighing. Just a clean proposal stitched in white on a dad cap, delivered with a straight face. This is the hat that ends the conversation before it starts. Two lines, one clear ask, zero drama. Whoever gave it to him either thought it was hilarious or meant every word — and honestly, both reasons are valid.

Because someone has to say it.