Everything aches, nothing is fixable, and you’re still showing up.

A tilted box of thin black lettering puts the full status report front and center. You pop when you stand, creak when you sit, and negotiate with the stairs like they owe you money. Nobody asked for the update, and you’re giving it anyway.

It’s a soft, lightweight unisex tee with a classic fit that stays comfortable on the couch, the sideline, and the drive home from anywhere. Wear it to the family reunion, the pharmacy line, or any event that involves standing for more than an hour. Give it to the friend who narrates every joint out loud.

Rebel Ink wrote the symptoms down so you can stop listing them.