The hat that started it all. 

Some hobbies are day drinking and swearing, and I'm very committed to mine. You've got the mouth of a sailor and the schedule of a retiree, and that combination isn't a phase — it's a personality. Nobody's earned the right to day-drink and cuss more than someone who's been holding it together for everyone else since 9am. This is the shirt version of finally saying the quiet part loud.

Because someone has to say it.